Catawampus

I wrote HERE of how I lost my long term furry companion (by that I mean my cat and not some dude who was into donning a fursuit and engaging in  fetishistic sexual activity) over a year ago and while in the process of helping the kids digest the concept of death and grieving, I told them that we would get a new cat one day. A kitten in fact. Because that made the tears stop.

I explained, of course, that Binx had been special and when someone we love goes away they don’t get replaced , but that we can eventually find room in our hearts to love someone else and let them love us back because life goes on. Until it doesn’t.

I said this, but anytime I even consider getting some particular kitty that’s up for adoption, I start crying. The first time I was just violently sobbing in bed at 4 in the morning because I’d  met this beautiful floofty black cat that looked like he was wearing a sweater made of a slightly different colored cat, and I thought of how he might fit into our family nicely. Then grief just absolutely ambushed me.

Once I got teary when talking to someone at an adoption event that was being held at the library near my home because they asked if I was considering adopting the cat I’d been petting and I had to her and myself why I wasn’t ready for a cat at all until I ended up weeping.

But the problem was that in my head, I was the one looking for a cat. I’m obviously still mourning and anyway, I’d probably get a grown up one because at this point I’m convinced that’s the closest I’ll ever get to making a close new adult friend. But a kitten– that would be for the girls, who have never had one before.

A couple of days ago, a buddy posted about a batch of newly hatched kitties and I fell for one- who bears no resemblance at all to my dearly departed Binx and maybe that helped make me claim this poofy little creamsicle:

Mark does not know about the kitten. He is less on board with the idea getting one. Cats know this. We visited a rescue shelter’s “cat room” to kill some time one afternoon and they converged upon the Naysayer as though someone had slipped catnip in his pockets.

Not that anyone would do that.

For fun, I’m going to just…not tell him. He works such long hours, I’m sure we can get away with it for a while.

When my older sister was a teenager she tried to hide a kitten from my parents, they were on night shift and slept most of the day. She figured that she could hide him in her  closet because they -she assumed- rarely came into her room.Then she skipped school one day and when my father went to talk to her about this, the cat began to meow. So my sister, who was regarded as ‘the smart one’ in the family, started to meow louder than the cat. For some reason this failed to mask the kitty’s presence and that was the end of that.

Of course, he’s going to notice eventually, but I have a plan; it’s called “Gaslighting” and it’s pretty popular in relationships from my experience. When he asks about the kitten I’ll just say something like, “Whatever are you talking about you crazy old fool? Why, that’s the same kitten we’ve had for years!”

I see no way this can fail.

Anyway, I’ve been coming up with and collecting name ideas from the children and most reasonable friend. Here’s what’s in the running so far, but I’m open to more suggestions unless I’ve already nailed it somewhere on this list.

1. Colonal Mustard
2. Velveteen
3. Cleveland
4. Creole Lady Marmalade ( a possible drag name because this kid’s future is wide open)
5. Nico
6. Nicolas Cage
7. Princess Sparkle
8. Cat Stevens
9. Cheddar
10. The Sound the Moon Makes as It Rises After Your Darkest Day
11. Jonesy
12. Claude
13. Rusty
14. Faust
15. Pepperoni
16. Atticus
17. Lucky
18. Velveteen
19. Your Childhood Fear, Whispered into A Tea Cup, Frozen and Buried Deep Within The Earth
20. Mango

We’ll give him a few days to acclimate and see what kind of personality comes through. So far, he’s clearly just awful.