Homelife got you feeling a bit bored?
Is your wife preoccupied with raising your kids while you work all the fucking time and not giving you the attention you feel like you deserve?
Is that fire of love down to a single flame in your eyes?
Well then, it might be time to just FUCKING WALK OUT ON YOUR FAMILY!
First you’ll want to allow yourself to become close to someone else. Really give yourself permission to explore other options. After all, you want to have something fun to walk toward when you abandon your wife, and work is a fantastic place to test those waters and find almost literally the closest person willing to fuck you.
If you’re in some position of authority, then this can get a little tricky, but if you’re thinking that a boss having an affair with an employee seems a little too tacky, then woah buddy- why are you even reading this!? Cheating on your wife ain’t for the classy! Besides, don’t think of the scenario as “cliche”, think of it as tried and true! There’s a reason so many affairs come out of the workplace!
Obviously if there is someone working under you that has been flirting with you hard despite knowing that you’re married, that’s a great place to start. Let them pander to your ego at every turn and maybe start out with some flirty texts. Does it feel wrong? It should! The thrill of sneaking around is just part of the fun in store!
Do NOT, for god’s sake, talk to your wife about any feelings of distance you may have been feeling up until this point. This opens up the very real chance of your finding out that your problems are fixable and would then perhaps make you think twice about what you really want to do here.
Just remember, you don’t want to worry about maintaining stability for your children. B-O-R-I-N-G! You need the excitement of something new! Sure your wife appreciates all you do, but her telling you what a good man you are and being grateful for the mutual stability you’ve provided for each other and your kids just doesn’t feel as good as when a younger girl with a bod that hasn’t given birth a few times flatters and “gets” you.
Getting attention from a woman who you always see at her put together best, who wears a ton of makeup and always dresses nicely (as the job you gave her requires of her) makes you feel more impressive than your wife who only bothers with makeup when she’s leaving the house and hardly even buys new clothes for herself anymore because she’s always having to budget having to buy things for the kids- or for you. All those new suits. Your wife, well, just feels….used up to you.
Before you really get to the point of no return in your awesome new relationship, you’re going to really need to focus on all of the negative things about your marriage-and about your wife as a person. Sure she’s always been there, caring and loving you through all of your ups and downs, but if she’s not showing you enough attention right now, or you’ve grown bored with the routine you’ve both fallen into, make that HER fault.
She isn’t aware that you are feeling disconnected, but how fucking dare she not notice! No, if she cared she would gain the psychic ability to know that you are thinking of doing. Or maybe she does know and she’s secretly cool with it because that’s how much she doesn’t care, you know? See you really need to get that resentment flowing to be able to hurt someone that trusts you completely like she does I mean, this is going to be really damaging to her, so you’ve got to be willing to be dismissive of that pain, and not think about every time she’s been there for you when you needed her.
Here- try to create your own little fantasy that makes it easier. For example, convince yourself that she doesn’t love you, though she says it everyday with words and all the little things she does for you, even though she has been committed to you and the family you’ve made together and speaks to you about the future she assumes you have together with your kids- what a bitch, amirite!? DO NOT check in with her on this. I cannot stress that enough. If you give her the chance, she might be able to introduce reality back to you and remind you that she does in fact love you very much, that you mean so much to her and she would be horrified that you have gotten to a place where you think otherwise.
She might say things that might make an uncomfortable sense to you in light of what you’re planning , like that a lot of that distance you feel comes from the fact that you have been working too much and highly stressed about your job for a few years now, that you seem to have fallen into a rut of personal unhappiness because of it- as though it isn’t her job to make you happy?! She might be willing to do whatever it takes to close that distance between you, especially if you have been together for like a dozen years or whatever- and those kids you made the decision to have together? YIKES. Be ready to do a lot of sidestepping there to continue on your merry way into the pants of that younger woman. She might even suggest couples therapy! YAWN.
Now, if your potential affair partner is currently sleeping with another coworker or two- while also flirting with you, then you’ve hit the jackpot my friend- because that girl is desperate for attention and validation and will be super easy to entice her away from whatever sad sack she’s been passing the time with. After all, you’re the boss and girls like this are easily impressed.
All you have to do is tell her what she wants to hear, tell her, and her alone that you aren’t happy at home. Do not confide in family or close friends about your having doubts about your marriage – they may dissuade you by telling you that you should really try to work things out with your wife, and we’ve already covered the danger there. Now with girls like this, this step might not be necessary, but it’s good to touch all of your bases just in case she might actually have some sense of morality about sleeping with a married man. Don’t worry though, it’s more likely she will be turned on by the idea of winning you over from some other woman she’s never met and of being able to entice a man away from his family.
Her thinking you’re a prize is just another boost for your ego, so really appreciate how lucky you are here and don’t let this one go! Flatter her as well, tell her she’s super smart because by the way she acts, it’s doubtful that she hears that one often! Of course tell her she’s beautiful, but throw in that she’s strong too. Women like to hear that they are strong these days, because Feminism, even if they are being ‘strong’ by poaching some unsuspecting woman’s husband and robbing little girls of their father. Girl Power!
Start having sexy video chats at all hours. Spend time looking up fetishwear sites so you can dress her up. So she can send you pictures. Money might be tight for your family, but you deserve to splurge a little on your new toy! Start bringing her to bars where no one knows you so you can pretend you’re a real couple and not two bags of shit- which is what those silly, unimportant people in your life that know and respect you for the decent man and committed husband and father you’ve been up until right exactly now might think if they knew what you were doing.
But hey man- you are not a piece of shit just because you’re letting yourself fall for some woman from work like you’re some goddamn 15 year old with no emotional maturity or regard for your obligations or the promises you’ve made. Just because you’re throwing away your marriage without making an attempt to fix it despite what it’s going to do to your wife and kids, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person! No matter what just about everybody else says. I mean, you weren’t getting the passion and sex you wanted from your wife, and why would it be your job to bother to talk to her about it before going outside of your marriage? She should’ve known that this would happen, in fact, she practically made you do it through by neglecting your dick! I mean, IT’S YOUR DICK- NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT.
Speaking of things that should matter: DO NOT stop and think of how what you are doing might affect your children. You might think that you should at least try to not break your family apart because of how traumatic divorce has been proven to be to children. But hey:
Your children’s emotional well being < Your personal happiness!
Tell yourself that divorce is commonplace, so that must mean they’ll get over it. Do NOT allow yourself to consider that because you and your wife get along great and never fight, the children might be just as blindsided as she is when you just walk out on them one day- as soon set yourself up with a nice relationship to escape into of course! Wouldn’t want to have to be alone and dealing with the stress of what you’re doing to your family- man, would that SUCK!
Oh- which reminds me: DO NOT consider how choosing infidelity to use as the ship in which to sail out of your marital home instead of doing it in a more respectful and humane way- which literally any other way would be, might impact your daughters’ outlook on love and trust in an even worse way.
DO NOT consider that just as common as divorce are little girls that grow up to not respect their fathers because of how he treated their mother- that’s a real mood killer!
I mean what? Do you want to be some schmo that ends up sitting on a porch swing with the mother of your children, watching those kids grow up together securely, and richer in every way for it? That involves work, man! That involves having to deal with the ups and downs of marriage.And that is not what you signed on for….. I mean, okay technically it is exactly what you signed up for. Those were the promises you made to that annoying woman you live with, but it’s just ...your word. What is your word really worth? YOU HAVE A GIRL WILLING TO FUCK YOU REGULARLY KNOWING YOUR WORD IS TRASH, so..
Also , DO NOT think about what this affair will do to your wife.
She’s too dumb to ever find about it right? And if she does, just keep lying! She believed you had a good marriage and that you would never do anything like this, so she’s already shown her gullibility and complete lack of awareness there. Don’t worry about her finding out that you left her to be with someone else, and not because of the completely out of left field things you told her ,will do to her. Who cares that you had literally never brought up any of these things as issues in your marriage before, that certainly won’t make her suspicious that you’re actually out there being a selfish monster with that classy gal from work.
Don’t consider what any of this will do to your wife emotionally and psychologically. Don’t think of how this will fuck her up, and that she’ll probably never really be able to trust again because of you. That this will be deeply, deeply traumatizing for her. Don’t think about what you are taking from her and that she really doesn’t deserve this. Your children deserve better too, but don’t think about that. Just don’t. DO not.
DO NOT.
Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter as much as you do, nothing does. So just go for it! Blow up your life, blow up your family so you can live free with who is undoubtedly your real one true love. It’s what you deserve after all. And in the end no one will care and everyone will forgive you eventually because how could they not- you charmer! . Enjoy your new life and stay awesome!
As for that pesky (soon to be ex!) wife and those kids you’ll now only have to see a couple of times a week, they’ll get over it. Who needs an unbroken family and a respectable father figure when there’s therapy?
